Saturday, May 24, 2008

Do you know something I hate?

Well, besides using the word hate? I won't let my kids use it. It's a bad four letter word they aren't allowed to use. But being a grownup and all, I have automatic permission to use four letter words when the time calls for one. Two nights ago, the time was ripe for a four letter word. I probably said a few of them, but the only one I can remember is "HATE". I was trying to use the weed eater. I HATE my weed eater - weed whacker, whatever you call it. I'll just call it the hateful machine. And you know what? I think it secretly hates me too. I've told it many times that I HATE it. I've called it many names (some may have been accompanied by another four letter word that I won't repeat) but it just sits there silent. It's hateful. I know it's thinking the same thing about me. We have that kind of relationship - a "I hate you and you hate me" kind of relationship. If it didn't hate me too, it wouldn't be so stubborn. If it didn't hate me, it would start when I turned it on, put the choke on and pulled the cord. If it didn't hate me too, it would not die as soon as I turned the choke off. If it didn't hate me too, it would not run out of string and cause me to have to turn it off, rethread it and start all over with the agony of starting it again battle. If it didn't hate me too, it wouldn't make my shoulders and arm ache for days after using it or my hand tremble for the next week after using it. But, it hates me, so it does all those things.

It doesn't act like that for dh. I think it's because it's a YardMan and he's a man. I think it's the fact that I'm a woman and it's a stupid machine, we just can't get along, no matter what. Maybe if it were a YardWOMAN, we'd have a better relationship, but alas, I have never seen a YardWOMAN brand. Maybe it's because they are all made by men. And that explains a lot, doesn't it?

It's going to be a long summer, the Hateful YardMAN and I will have to endure together. My poor shoulders and arms may never be so grateful to see frost in the fall. Maybe we'll have an early frost so the YardMAN can be retired early (the hateful thing). And maybe I won't lose my religion too much or find too many four letter words slipping from my lips as I work. I'm not much of a potty mouth any other time, but put me in front of that hateful little machine with its gooseneck and pullstring and the worst just automatically comes out of me.

2 comments:

  1. I hate weed eaters too!! They hate me back, as well. So I feel your pain. The hateful machines, anyway! :-p

    Maybe you could hire it done? ;)

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  2. I'm laughing as I sit here...sorry, but I can so relate....lol

    "Maybe if it were a YardWOMAN"

    lol

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